Jump to content
  • Need help getting started with posting a story in the library? Check out this guide.

  • Rogue

    Star Dust

       (2 reviews)
      Genre: High Fantasy
      Word Count: 1285 (approx)
      Content Warnings: Nothing to avoid, pretty chill in my opinion
      Author's Note: So backstory to the whole thing is that future Xor (The god of chaos) travels back to meet his old self and teach him a spell that can take control of other gods' mind (his intentions as to why he doesn't do it in his own timeline is unknown for a while) and after perfecting it he manages to take control of the gods. so he plagues the star Crecelea with the spell and takes control of the guardians of the star and the gods inhabiting the star, after the elder gods that weren't affected come together to destroy the star, he takes advantage of their absence and plagues the remaining gods, his intention is to destroy humanity and become the most powerful god so he can prove to his father the weakness of humanity and his own worth. our 2nd protagonist before Damon comes into play is a Valkyrie whose god has died in Cercelea and is now grouped up with some of the other gods' followers who've lost their mentor.
      So this is a page of an old book that our protagonist in the first chapters of the story finds with her companions (The author of the book is unknown, the book is infinite pages and the last page always seems to be writing about something happening somewhere around the universe) She's trying to learn about the gods that could defeat Xor and his spells, because all the other ones are already under the influence of Xor/are working with Xor, so she comes across a page that talks about a mythical god that no one has seen but they claim that Elsa Whitemore has created him and now he's exiled in a temple, Sooooo, this is just a book chapter, its not explaining a lot of stuff because they're not supposed to be known yet or were simply not important to the author of the book to mention, they'd be later found when we go further.
      therefore Damon (AKA The Star Born) is their only hope of winning against Xor.
      Feedback Request(s): So I just wanna know if the story is too mild or cheesy or etc... if I explained something too much/too little. and if there are any words I should switch with better ones or if I overused a word etc.
      oooh also, I was wondering if she should've just imprisoned him in the temple without all the chains and chanting and stuff and just cast a spell on the gates so they would never open from the inside and therefore he'd be free to walk/interact with the enchanted infinite forest and the creature(s) that might live inside, or he'd be chained (ofc, if he's chained when our 2nd protagonist finds him with her crew, things would be more complicated).
      Summary : The story of the first god to ever have Star Dust life essence, how he was created by the most dreadful witch and how he became imprisoned in the enchanted forest.

    The Star Dust

    Elsa Whitemore, The most powerful witch in existence, the only being able to create a new life-form, She created a god whose life essence was different from any other, something that the universe had never seen, She gave life to a god using Star Dust from the explosion of the star, Crecelea, were some of the most powerful guardians and gods lived in, The star was plagued by a spell that Xor had learnt from his future self, the gods were under his control, Zeus and his followers destroyed the star with everything and everyone on it, leading to the dust of the most powerful star combined with the essence of many gods to be left out in space, the same dust that Elsa took for her experiment, she sometimes even surprises me.

    She wanted the creature as an experiment, as a pleasure to know she gave life to something, but as soon as she laid eyes upon his amber eyes, she felt as if there was a bond between them, a connection you could say, The child didn’t seem special in any way, so she decided to raise him as her own son, in a universe far away from the gods that would not approve of his existence, for he was safer this way.

    She taught him about their history, their gods and their glorious stories, Not about me and my book of course...

    He was always fascinated with them and their powers, thriving to be like them someday.
    Elsa saw the eagerness in the little boy and happily taught him her favourite spells and potions, He was an extremely fast learner for his age, a very talented fighter, even though he taught himself.
    it wasn’t long before he had mastered the art of manipulation and had learned so many spells that he could’ve fought off an entire army of Xa'Zura ghouls on his own.
    In his first fight with a ghoul that had crossed his path, he annihilated the poor thing before it even had time to fight, or run… the dead ghoul laid there as he landed spell after spell on his dead body until there was nothing left of it, his eyes were full of excitement, something that Elsa wasn't expecting, as he faced her, expecting approval and a proud face, he saw terror in her face, looking back at him. She sat next to him, holding the young man's hand and staring deep into his soul, trying to get an idea of what had just happened, and as expected, she felt the presence of something new, something that seemed evil, but didn't feel evil.
    She saw darkness so deep that it stroke fear into her heart. but it wasn’t simple darkness, it kept changing, at one moment it was pure Darkness, another moment it was blinding Light, the warmth of life, the coldness of death, Something that even someone like her wouldn’t be able to imagine, his essence was changing with each second. As she opened her eyes and was back to reality, she knew what had to be done, he was too dangerous and too unpredictable, if she were to ignore the truth of his being, the gods would finally catch on and... execute him… She exiled her creation to her sacred temple, somewhere that gods couldn't find him, somewhere that he could be safe, a place that no magic worked, not even hers… But he had a very powerful physical form, normal chains and stones would not stop him if he were to escape.
    Against him fire was powerless, ice was just a breeze, darkness was a part of him, and any sort of light-powered spell simply would disappear around him into the void, she needed something way more powerful, something that no being could break, neither with magic nor with strength, the chains would only listen to those they trusted. She knew that one day he'd be freed, though... the odds of infinite time and his immortal body said so anyways...
    He didn’t know his true powers yet, he only thought that he could cast spells that the witch had taught him, he trusted her with his life, and he owned it to her too... he did not fight back and accepted what she thought had to be done, without questioning it, without knowing the reason of his exile.
    The temple was not what he expected, it was airborne, long waterfall in the front, jungles at the sides and the golden temple in the middle, She grabbed his hand and before he knew it they were standing in front of the gates of the ethereal temple, looking down he realized that they were thousands of miles above the surface...

    the gates opened as if they were waiting, the roof of the temple was high and there were clouds inside, and the ground was of sacred soil, one that would give life to plants, each one having its own purpose, the temple was indeed beautiful, he couldn’t deny that.
    “It’s not gonna be all that bad here after all” He thought to himself.
    the trees were tall and firm and it felt as If they were staring at him, there was a weird sensation of comfort that he couldn’t understand the reason of.
    He knelt in the middle of the temple, behind him an enormous tree with angelic white leaves that lighted up around it, known as the Firwood, I always loved that tree, it seemed as if it had a mind of its own.
    With tears in her eyes and a brief doubt, she casts the binding spell, the leaves of Firwood slowly fell from and wrapped around Damon's hands, forming a chain, as the spell finished the soft feather-like feeling of the leaves changed into the rough feeling of golden steel, the chains lifted themselves, the ends hitting the surrounding walls, it felt like the time stopped for a second, and after that everything was back to normal, as if there was a bond created between the temple and the chains.
    She sat down in front of him, her forehead on his, She asked for forgiveness for she had brought this upon him, He stayed silent, trying to think of something to comfort her with, to let her know that it was okay, but he felt as if it would be in no avail, the tear of the witch hit the surface of the temple, leaving a mark on the soil beneath, the witch stood and stroke her hand on his cheek, smiling at him with a sorrowful expression, she put the hood of her cloak back on and walked out of the temple, ashamed to look back at him... as she rushed out, a dark lotus rose from the soil, on the mark she had left.
    The temple was silent for a minute before the gates of the temple closed and he was left with the darkness that was now lit with the light that powered from the lotus and the tree, he smiled at the perfectly shaped lotus and gently tapped the lotus and watched as it squirmed and took back its shape from the touch, it felt soft and the comfort of the light was something to be happy about.
    “Hm…” He looked around the temple, the leaves on the trees to his sides started moving as if something was flying through them, a cold breeze hit his skin.

    "Ah great, it's a haunted temple, who would've thought.” he commented sarcastically, the rattling stopped and all was silent again, he chuckled "Shame, kind of wished I'd have a companion." and with that statement, he closed his eyes.

    Afterthoughts: I don't know what I think of this chapter, I kinda feel like I like it but at the same time, I'm not sure... thoughts?

    User Feedback

    Join the conversation

    You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.



    · Edited by Kataonthelope


    Let us know when the chapter of your book is done, would love to read it.

    Share this review

    Link to review

       1 of 1 member found this review helpful 1 / 1 member

    I enjoyed the chapter honestly, not much to worry about everything seemed fine.

    In my opinion having him chained up so when they find him its a bit trickier to get him out and maybe make a trade, his freedom for his help and etc... would be cooler, but at the same time if he's free in there and they enter the temple its gonna be fun seeing him mess with them if that's what he'd do, and exploring an infinite enchanted forest sounds like fun, a lot of writing though.

    overall its a 5/5 for me although I'd love to read an actual chapter of the novel and not an overview so if u ever started writing it or if you've wrote it already do let us read it 🙂

    Share this review

    Link to review