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About Kenaron

  • Birthday 03/17/1998

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  1. Me too! Me too! Me too! I second a lot of what Manu said, so quoting him was kind of a good coincidence. Worcount sounds reasonable at 300-500 to start (like to really understande the purpose of the club and see how we'd rather give out and take advice), maybe it could be a bit flexible if people want to add words/depth (Maybe, if someone wants to make it rushing, it could be closer to 1k, but they'd have to put it up for critique as soon as they finish it). Resources! I'd recommend something like Overly Sarcastic Productions' "Trope Talk," but that's centered entirely around usage of tropes in literature, so I'll just leave it here for consideration. With someone checking what we see from him, Hello Future Me's channel has a lot of advice on hard and soft magic systems, empires and some other scattered stuff, so maybe it holds a promise there. Lessons from the Screenplay's content is more example-based, but some could work as inspiration fodder. I think those are the best examples I have right now, 30 minutes after waking up. I do have more channels that I'd like to throw here, but most are philosophical in nature and don't see adding tons to creativity.
  2. Very good idea, yes. I thought of doing something like that for myself, but I'm too inconsistent to just hold myself to such a loose thing. What were you thinking about with this? Focusing on the imagery on the card? Or using the meaning of the card to have a prompt per se? I'd be glad of helpping setting this up and participating in the challenge.
  3. Correction on the typos? Some good lines? Relateable MC? That's all great to hear! I've been answering 3/4 of your comments live after you posted them on the thing, so if you wan to , you can keep the conversation over those there. If not, I can manage either way. You've been great help, Mynoris! Also, feel free to pass the link around if you think it'd help! Thanks a lot for everything!
  4. Hi, Victoria! I'm the same guy from the Discord, now here to read the whole thing :P BLESSED BE THE BACKUPS OF THE SITE. My computer turned off because it wanted, then on because it wanted. Again, thanks to the site. Keep in mind that this could be all my opinion if you really want to dismiss everything here, but also I'm going to make the mistake of changing the meaning of something in the middle of critiquing, so salt and all that. I'm writing this as I read the problems, some things will be striken-through because I found them not to be that big of a problem with new info, or something cleared them in a reasonable amount of time To start, I just want to say that I have a thing for first-line indents for the paragraph, but that's all personal preference. The bit where you have this swirling vortex of chaos (since the half of the second paragrph to kind of the fourth or fifth paragraph), things are a bit of a mess to understand from my point of view. "So she had to cancel her appointements is good, the rest of paragraph 2 could use some rewording (the metaphor with the knife, while unclear, is good I think). The confusion could be more straightforward or have some other metaphor (I'm not as sold with the newborn one, for some reason. Also, I didn't know that it was, in fact, correct to call a literal baby a "babe" so thanks for that!). Other than these two instances, I like all the rest- It gets the confusion and conflict across, even if muddled for me. This, in hindsight, works better after reading further and seeing that Amelia is a friend, but keep in mind that the clarification for me (don't watch Grey) came around page 5-6. I still stand by this point. "The list she never wanted to finish" yes. I liked that one a lot. I like the whole idea of the drama with Amelia, Cristina, Emma and Derek, but maybe the "Derek was only gone for a year" would work best without the only? Also, did Emma give space to Amelia (who comes up first) or to Cristina (which appears just before the thing I'm mentioning)? Last point, in the end, "could fight" or "would fight"? From "This was the battle..." on page 2 onwards, I'm loving it. Until the first break in the middle of the same page, it was all great. After the break, "Emma had changed into her doctor's outfit" seems repetitive (or something like that, repeating isn't what's happening here); mentioning that she's already in her doctor getup without giving it much enphasis would work better, imo. After that small thing, it flows good, and the dialogue and its paragraphs are minimal, to the point, and overall fast to keep the reader on the plot point. Nice work there, yes Okay, it's like 2 AM, so I'm only reading this as a reader, not a writer. I like how the time distorts with the breaks and the pace seems to pick up after patients start pouring in to the Emergency Room. The drama Emma goes through seems realistic enough as to warrant no complaint in any field, and I haven't caught any typos as of page 5 or so. Great stuff! The bit with Callie works as great drama, and Callie trying to get her out of this personal minefield is a great part of the piece (at least, until this point). Around page 8, you say "[...]she was back to the hot rage and frustrating and the anger[...]" Wouldn't that one be frustration instead of frustrating? Other than that, it's all good here, consider me hooked. Hm... The kiss feels a bit harsh and clunky... Hm... Give me until tomorrow to think of something to improve it... Hm definitively... And with that, a good last stretch to the finish! It was pretty enjoyable, yes, and I liked it after the thing on page 2 threw me off. Other than that, a solid and consistent voice kept everything plenty readable, and the dialogue felt okay all throughout. There's a bit where Emma's acting childishly for a while (I think it's the part with Callie), that I absolutely love because it shows a more scared part of herself that is otherwise absent from the rest of the piece. You said this wasn't published or finished, but I don't see any glaring issues with this, despite it being a first draft. I'm sure, though, that someone with plenty more experience will also come by and give you more in-depth advice. Also, the kiss part that I said needs work is the same you asked about through the Discord, right? Is this the version you're going with, or the other one you were writing today? If you still want help or anything, I'm up for either of them!
  5. So, this is another short story I wrote a couple of weeks ago, maybe a month or so. Some people told me that they really liked it, etc, so I thought I'd try to polish this, then send it to some magazine, site, blog or whatever that could give me something in return. Comments are on and anyone with that link can comment, so please tell me of anything in the piece that you find breaks immersion, flow, character, basic writing or grammar rules or anything else.
  6. I hadn't given that much thought to this, but now that I'm getting down to mash the ideas I've been scribling to something resembling an outline, I might as well do this too. If I had to give the story a time frame, I'd say it takes place over at least some months, but less than a year. Let's leave a tentative 7 to 8 months as the final answer for now.
  7. Thanks Jessi for correcting me on stuff, I'm not native in english so everything is apreciated. (Also, I make a lot of formatting little missteps, so thanks for catching them) TL;DR: World is slightly more magical, but just a smidge, "ideas of old" is something like the way of thinking that got us from WW1&2 to here (had a clearer picture, lost it with my phone), the Book holds instructions for how to life for personality types, characters will represent the idea of "following vs making a path," everything will probably oscilate between lighthearted drama and an emotional epic journey The reality of the fiction is not that much more magical than ours. I've been toying around with having something like the lightest of myths to be real, but for now the place is pretty much a differently-minded/oriented version of this Earth. The idea I'm trying to get there is more diffuse than a single point of history, it's more like they let go (again, not by much, just relaxing on this) of things like religion and nationalism after everything went wrong in WW2, and the way everything was gaoing changed slightly at the time, having a massive impact to the ideosincracy and the way of thinking of most of everyone. Technology and stuff like that would be kind of current-times for each country, but ideas like concentrating on a God or a particular "state" were low-key abolished in favor of a much, much stronger "UN" sort of coordinating body between the nations to avert another crisis like that. Hard to explain kind of? I'm having trouble with finding the way to explain it better and more plainly. For now, stuff is vague. Alexis will be a kind of assertive-ish uninterested teen/YA, and he'll have at least one friend to help him along the way, making him doubt of the mythos of the Book, and another, shadier person also tagging along to entice him with the Book. Now, the Book is an ancient-powerful-McGuffin item that supposedly holds something like "instructions for life" (without anyone currently knowing, the book is like Myers-Briggs personality types if they were 100% accurate and true). People talk about the Book holding all the answers, and the Originals being lost amidst time and boders, but a lot of people confirm to having read the book. And wouldn't you know it, all of those guys are incredibly succesfull at their area of expertise. People take this as confirmation bias to say that the Book must have the instructions to make anyone who reads it successfull, and so, much time and effort have been poured into finding the Originals, but every time someone finds it and copies it or passes it on, it dissapears a short time afterwards, stolen away along with any copies made. Alexis (I'm centimeters away from calling him Al, like another MC from another story I'm writing now and getting them both confused) is going to be doubtful of the belief, her friend would reassure the doubt and the noew guy would reassure the belief, and at some point he'd have to put his foot down to see if he wants to pursue the Book or his own path. He'll most likely choose his own path, to give a good, "standing up for yourself" kind of message, and maybe having a "Happyly ever after" ending (or not, it depends on how fast I get to that moment in which he chooses.)
  8. I'm Kenaron everywhere. https://nanowrimo.org/participants/kenaron
  9. Well, he could always have something special about him particularly, right? Maybe he's the strongest magical user that she (he?) has and is willing to put on the line for the mission, or maybe Aysel knows somthing about how his particular magic would interact with Alana's to throw everyone for a loop, or maybe it's all just the biggest test: Aysel thinks Derric is a totally loyal subject, but there's nothing around to really test the mind control that's gone into the guy, and coincidentally, this human is just trying to go against the dark fairies. From that is just sending him (with someone shadowing him) to test how strong of a grip she's got on Darric. (Too many ideas? Yeah, maybe) For now, I've just got a couple of starting points, but I need to develop it way more if I want to get 50k this year (would be the first time) (Just to be clear, this would all be in an Alternate Universe in current times, so I'm not even clear of how Fantasy-y this thing is. Maybe something like speculative fiction? Urban Fantasy? Contemporary? No clue really) Typing it out loud (?) like this makes me think that this sounds soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cheasy, but maybe it's better like that, right? I'm trying to make something of a Coming of Age story, with Alexis realizing things along the way, and learning new things with friends and romantic interests alike (that is way cheasier). I don't know how to draw the guy shrudding it's shoulders, so this is it from me.
  10. How about some sort of magical maze? Like the maze has a magical trail that Alana has to follow in order to get to the center/out, so that would prove that she can sense magic on her own (if she can), which would come in handy if she's got to find some lost magic source (or whatever). The maze could even change on its own to really prove that she actually can sense magic Maybe for the second part it could be some sort of gladiatorial combat (or something like the dragon egg test in Harry Potter) or something like that to show that she can take care of herself, and then something that combines the two parts to cap it all off?
  11. Great! Then I'll just get to work on an entry for both of them.
  12. I was planning on submitting something, I just wanted to ask you, do I need to make an entry for both prompts?
  13. (I might be botching this quote system horribly) (Also, this won't preview, so maybe somthing's wrong with my account/computer/internet?) Like I said, I always have a doubt saying high school, because here in Argentina we have an equivalent to Kindergarden (ages 2-3 to 5), then an equivalent (maybe) to Elementary school ("Primaria" or Primary, ages 6 to 12 normally), and then this thing that is like highschool, but that I think lacks the division to be a real equivalent ("Secundaria" or Secondary, ages 13 to 17-18). Isn't Highschool more divided into subsections? Anyways, thanks both Jedi and Math for the welcomes, and sorry to take so long to answer! Also sorry to be so thick with this education system thing!
  14. Basics Name/Pen name: Real name Juan, Pen Name something that sounds american perhaps, prefer Kenaron online. Age: 20 State/country: Argentina, province of Jujuy Education: Finished (wathever comes before college, I always have this doubt if the school system that the US uses is compatible with the one we have here in Argentina when I'm talking about my education with someone from another country), getting into college next year. Hobbies and Favorites What are your hobbies? Playing PC games, running D&D, reading and writing in that order by time consumed by each. What is/are your favorite book(s) and authors? Firestarter by Stephen King What is/are your favorite movie(s) and TV show(s)? Recently watched "El Ministerio del Tiempo" (Spanish series). Was pretty great. Important-ish Note: My memory works really iffy some times, and my rating for anything is mostly positive with most of anything I see, so take anything I say with a massive grain of salt. Writing How long have you been writing? At least a couple of years, maybe something like 5. What was the first story you wrote that you remember? I remember writing a short story for a writing group some time ago. -Is it finished? Yes, at around 1 page or something (written physically, can't remember the word count) -Have you ever let anyone read it? I mostly let people I know read anything I write (family for the most part), so maybe someone in my house read it. -What genre (romance, fantasy, etc) was it? If I remember correctly, fantasy/romance. Who is your favorite character that you've written about? I concentrate more on Short Stories, so characters vary from one to another. What is your favorite fantasy world you've created? Feel free to tell us about it. I haven't ever gone too deep into worldbuilding, so the only world I kind of have is a pretty standard Sword-and-Sworcery shell, without any remarkable distinctions yet. What fantasy project(s) are you currently working on? How's it going in terms of progress? I was starting a short story based on a side character of a D&D adventure I'm running, and I decided that I actually want to write something longer with her in mind. For now, though, it's still sitting in my brain Do you plan on taking advantage of the beta reading section? I have yet to see everything the site has to offer, but I'll probably leave a couple of short stories around to see if anyone wants to pick up on them National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) Have you ever participated in NaNoWriMo? No-ish -How many times? 1-ish What genres were your NaNos? Fantasy/Romance Did you finish the actual story by 50,000 words, or just reach 50,000 words but not be actually finished?None of the above :-[ Are you planning on participating this coming November? Only if I can finish another smaller project this September. I'll probably jump in either way and try again to get to the goal. Other Stuff How did you find out about Worldsmyths? I saw an ad or someone recommending itlike 10 links ago, but I lost track of exactly where I saw it (I'm sure it wasn't Reddit, at least.) -What made you decide to join? One of my many spur-of-the-moment decisions, I join forums if I feel like they can help me with something I have going on, but it's not uncommon that I fall out of using them if some complication arises from my waning interest or the more random availability of my little, easy to fry, crash and burn delete cookies and archives laptop. -Have you told anyone else about it? Not really, I just found it What do you hope Worldsmyths will help you accomplish in terms of your writing goals? I only hope to be able to chat with people about any writing project that I might undertake or to see if I can get some online aquaintances upgraded to online friends. As an aside, thanks for whoever put this template as an option. I can't remember the name right now. I like having some sort of guideline to follow, instead of bumbling around trying to describe myself and whatnot.